Alright, as some as you may or may not know, I work at Pizza Hut. I know, it’s a crappy job, but I’ve been there for a while and have a lot of seniority there, decent low pay, and what ever hours I want. And I also get to do a lot of the more easy positions and do manager paperwork. One of the things I get to do is run the Pizza Buffet. I’m sure you all have had it at one time or another. Pizza Hut’s pizza buffet is probably one of the best deals on pizza there is around. You’d think people would be satisfied with pizza coming out to the bar every 1-10 minutes (depending on business). But NOOOOOOOOOO! There are some fucking people out there that don’t care. They whine, bitch, scam, and moan about anything and everything.

Alright dictionary.com defines a buffet as, “A meal at which guests serve themselves from various dishes displayed on a table or sideboard.” Simple enough definition, we put things out, they serve themselves. It seems that is no longer ENOUGH, now people actually have the gull to come up and say I want this kind of pizza. Now, I had no real problem with that, the first 300 times. But now EVERYONE is requesting whatever the fuck they want. I mean it’s a buffet, if you want to get a certain pizza then fucking ORDER it! Don’t whine to me when I bring it out and someone takes all but one piece of it, you fucking fat ass. And for crying out loud, when you have like 5 pieces of pizza on a single plate and are shoving more onto a second plate, don’t ask me to put in your “favorite” type of pizza.

Now when a big rush of people comes in for the buffet, the amount of pizzas usually slips for about 2-5 minutes while they cook. Now one of the BIGGEST annoyances I have just happens to be the damn customers asking, “Is there anymore pizza coming out?” Each time I have to restrain myself. It’s like, No, we’ve got 2 more hours of buffet, but I’m tired, so no more pizzas will be coming out. Of course you STUPID FUCK this is a business, there will be more than enough food to feed you and your overweight family! What is worst is the amount of stupidity they have when I tell them that the pizzas have to cook. They literally look at me, not understanding. It’s not like we have a super insta-cook oven! Things take time to get hot and cook! For crying out loud I can’t bend the rules of physics and chemistry, not to mention the entire freaking physical UNIVERSE just because you are hungry! All right once the Pizzas come out, you’d think people would be happy, but again, they are not satisfied. I’ll set down a pizza and then literally get pushed out of the way. Thus keeping me from putting more pizza down. I mean, come on, is it much to ask that you have a little patience and restraint, I’ll be done putting pizzas down and clearing pans in less than 30 seconds! And blocking my way, what is that really going to accomplish? I mean I’m the keeper of the buffet, all you are doing is making it longer for the pizzas to get out, decreasing your selection. And if you push me and/or block me from the buffet and THEN ask for a request, there is NO WAY IN HELL you will get it, I will make sure that the pizza does NOT make it out there. I am a vengeful person, don’t screw with me!

In short, don’t screw with your buffet guy/girl, they have enough stupid people around to deal with. And their job is hard enough without you trying to increase the size of your midsection. Buffet Customers, YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!